...Life or Death...

FEAR of DEATH!

Pastor Steve spoke on this "controversial" subject Sunday morning.

I have never feared death...
But I write this because I saw it one-way and now I see it another.



-- I do not write this to get a pat on the back, high five, a hug, or make anyone shed a tear. I write this so you might learn something, grow, and be encouraged --



First comes the bad (there is a reason veggies come before dessert)....

So, heart felt truth time...

For most of my adult life, I lived a double standard. I was the good "Christian" boy (yes I use boy for a reason) on Sunday, but during the week, my private life, or my thought life would be anything but Christian. I believe I was good at hiding this, or people were too afraid to call me out on my crap; which if it is the later this would make me sad.

I never really prayed much and when I did it was because some self-fulfilling event happened. I would give a fist-bump to God and then go on living my life how I wanted.

Yes, I was a Christian during this time. As mentioned in my last blog I have been a Christian for 23 years. But I was lukewarm warm, did not care, and a phony. I knew how to act, talk, behave, but I did not live. I was like the seed in the thorns (Matt. 13:1-23; Mark 4:1-25; Luke 8:4-18). --I think I made me point clear here--

Here comes the scary (call it the Brussels Sprouts). So, many times I would ask God, "Why not just take me from this earth, clearly I am worthless to you down here, I am better off kickin' it with you and J.C. in Heaven!" There would be times I would tell God it would be ok if I did not make it back from one of my business trips, or if just me was sucked out of the airplane (I would never ask for anyone else to be hurt...just me)...woo what a fun negative life I lived.

I truly thought this world, my parents, family, friends; everyone would be better off if I was gone.
There were times I would think maybe I could fake my death and just go live on an island somewhere.

-----I know some might read this and think, "Wow, Josh was suicidal!" I was not. Never once did I ever think of taking my own life…but at the time if God were to take me out of this world, I would not have complained---- I would say I was like Job in this since.



I wanted an escape, an easy way out, because I gave up on everything...

...But guess what? Someone did not give up on me!



Now comes the good...nah...GREAT NEWS! – Even better than dessert!


Over the past month or so, I have had a major wake up call, a revelation! Instead of asking God to take me out the world, I finally asked Him what he wants from me. How can you use me? If you read my last blog you know how He answered!

I got a divine upper cut to the face and a roundhouse kick to the gut --- AND IT FELT FANTASTIC!


So now, my new outlook on Death…Is now I want to live. I do not, nor will not, live for me, but live for Christ.


When I die, I am excited to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”(Matt 25:14-30)

Robby spoke Sunday morning about asking the Lord to use you, so He will then give you rewards in Heaven. SWEET! I am more excited than ever to see what those rewards will be. At one point in my life I did not care about rewards; heaven was good enough. YEAH not anymore!

I have no idea what those rewards will be, but I know they will be way more awesome than anything we have now!

I am excited to stand if front of Christ at the Bema Seat, when he goes down the laundry list of evil I had done, yeah that part will suck, but then when gets to the “but” --- THE BOOM some might say --- The Lord might say, “You finally grew up and became a man, listened, and obeyed… because of this here are your rewards!” How exciting that will be!

I am glad to say my life is not over yet, and from now until death will be lived to fully serve the Lord!



The following passages have an even more profound meaning to my life now:

Romans 14:10-12
English Standard Version (ESV)

10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; 11 for it is written,
“As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess to God.”
12 So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.


Revelation 22:12
English Standard Version (ESV)

12 “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done.


1 Thessalonians 2:19-20
English Standard Version (ESV)

19 For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? 20 For you are our glory and joy.


2 Corinthians 5:10
English Standard Version (ESV)

10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.


1 Corinthians 3:13-15
English Standard Version (ESV)

13 each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 14 If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.


2 Timothy 4:7-8
English Standard Version (ESV)

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.




Death is going to happen (unless Jesus comes back during our life time), there is nothing anyone of us can do about it.

Who are you going live?

Are you going to live in the thorns or are you going to live in the good soil?

I am walking, living proof the Lord will never leave you, always love you, and will use you…JUST ASK…and be prepared to have your world rocked…for the better!!

If you let him God can move you from the thorns to the Good Soil!




Psalm 37:3-6
English Standard Version (ESV)

3 Trust in the LORD, and do well;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him, and he will act.
6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.


Ephesians 1:15-20
English Standard Version (ESV)

15 For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, 16 I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, 17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, 18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places…


Ephesians 3:16-21
English Standard Version (ESV)

16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

the BIG news

Where to begin…How about we start in January of 2012.

I had a great job, with good pay, and lots of freedom, and then I was laid off. What followed next was a three and a half month job search, which led me back to Phoenix and working with Chase.

I am, of course, excited to be back “Home.” In my eyes life is great! I am able to hang out with my oldest buddy Kris, going to Phoenix Comicon with Scott, seeing movies with Greg, and of course my good friend Robby started work as the Youth Pastor at Desert Springs Community Church in Goodyear. Despite the long drive, I started helping Robby in the youth group. I felt I had made the best decision in the world and nothing could be better!

Fast Forward to December 2013…I am definitely the exact opposite of how I felt. I was questioning if I made the right decision to move back to Arizona. Major changes happened at work, including a manager who is not fun or pleasant to be around. I had been looking for a new job since April, with ZERO results. I cannot tell you how many applications/resumes I had filled/sent out. Absolutely nothing happened, only one interview, and hundreds of “Thank you for applying, but blah blah blah blah…” Sure, I am back with great friends, I am serving the Lord through the youth group, I have a discipleship group with three awesome High Schoolers, and my annual Phoenix Comicon adventure with Scott is a blast, but I still felt empty…like something is missing or I had screwed everything up moving back to Arizona; I was not sure, but I did not feel right!
By the end of December I felt moved to make changes in my life. There were areas in my life, which I had let, go unchecked and I was feeling the effects even more than usual. With the help of my oldest friend Kris and new friend Jeff they were able to come along side me and now keep me in check.

One of the new changes in my life was my commitment to read through the Bible in a year. With reading the Bible I started praying more. With praying more this neat thing happened, I started to feel the Lord move in me like I have never felt before and I started to listen (I have been alive for almost 34 years, 23 years of which I have been a Christian, and I believe I have never really asked God, “Hey God, what…?”).

On January 15th around 3am myself, Robby, Erin, James, and two vans full of college kids and a few high schoolers headed out on our cross country-ish drive to Passion 2014 in Atlanta, GA. If you do not know what Passion is, it is a weekend conference aimed at College aged kids. Louie Giglio leads the conference. He will have other speakers there and several different bands lead worship ( http://268generation.com/passion2014/ ).

Typically when I go on these trips, I am there to make sure the kids stay in line, drive the vans, help with whatever needs to help, and if I get something out of the trip that is an added bonus.

As Passion started I knew right away God was speaking to me, and being at the Conference was going to be much more than just a van driver/leader. As the weekend progressed I asked God, “What do you want me to do?” “What do you have planned for my life?” – I asked and HE answered…

As Louie was wrapping the final day, I could tell he was leading up to have you stand if you felt the Lord move you in some way. I did not know what he was going to ask, but I could tell he was going that direction. I had a good idea of what the Lord was telling me to do, and sure enough Louie asked those to stand if the Lord was leading you in a direction, so I stood…

…The big news…

The Lord has called me into full time ministry in the mission field. I do believe I have been called to serve in Germany and also the surrounding countries (Czech Republic, Austria, Switzerland, etc…).

There is a long road ahead of me and I am excited for what the Lord will be doing.
My next steps will be:

1. Meeting with Leaders in my church
2. Speaking with a guy from our church who is currently in Germany serving
3. Meeting with some other contacts who have ties with Mission Organizations
4. Learning German
5. Taking a trip to Germany (either late this year or early next year)
6. Lots of Prayer!

To wrap up, I am not sure if moving back to Arizona was the right call or not, but it does not matter. If the Lord wants something to happen, there is nothing I, or anyone else, can do to stop it!

For the first time in my life I feel a real drive and purpose, and I am extremely excited seeing how the Lord uses me and makes all this work!

I could use any and all prayer!

Psalm 16
English Standard Version (ESV)

A Miktam of David.

1 Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
2 I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”
3 As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
4 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
5 The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
7 I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.